In your family

Does your child have DLD? This can affect the whole family. Many parents have questions and concerns. How do I best look after my child with DLD? How should I raise my child with DLD? Am I giving the other children in the family enough attention? How do I deal with negative reactions from people around me? And where can I go with my questions or concerns? 

Talking with your child

Is talking with your child difficult? Then parenting may also be more challenging. A child with DLD may talk less or may not always respond to what you say. You may not understand what your child with DLD means. This can make your child angry, sad, or quiet. Remember that it is very important to continue communicating with your child. 

Parenting

Parents may have different ideas about raising their child. Try to agree on parenting decisions, such as how to put your child to bed. It is useful to have fixed routines for your child. What do those routines look like? Talk to each other about interacting with your child. How do you react when your child has a tantrum? Are there special rules for your child with DLD? 

For general information about parenting, see the Netherlands Youth Institute NJI (in Dutch). You can talk to a professional through the Centre for Youth and Family Centrum voor Jeugd en Gezin or your neighbourhood team (wijkteam in Dutch). 

Siblings

Are there other children in your family? Talk to them about DLD. These tips for talking about DLD might be useful. Talk about how they can adjust their communication style. Sometimes it can be difficult to get along with a sibling with DLD. It helps to explain why your child with DLD sometimes gets more attention. Or why arguments are more likely to occur.  

Make sure that you talk about the strengths and weaknesses of all the children in your family. And that they all get compliments. This way, your child with DLD will not feel like an exception. 

Does your child with DLD have difficulties finding friends? It is great if your child can join siblings in play. For example, if they are playing with other kids in the neighbourhood. But it is also important that siblings get enough space and time to themselves. 

Children with DLD cannot always follow dinner conversations. Make sure everyone gets a turn. For example, set a timer for three minutes. This way, every family member gets time to talk. 

People around you

People around you may not have heard of DLD. They might say: “Don’t worry, it will resolve itself”. Or they may criticise your parenting style: “Leave him with me for a week”. Or they may give unwanted advice. This can make you feel insecure. You may feel that people do not understand. 

This is why it is important to talk to people about DLD. Tell grandma and grandpa, the neighbours, the babysitter, or parents of classmates. Explain to them that language problems can be severe. That they do not always go away. And that language problems can affect your child’s behaviour. Also, tell people how to adjust their communication to your child with DLD. For example, by speaking more slowly. 

Concerns and questions

Do you have concerns about your child with DLD and your family? Take those concerns seriously. It is normal that you have concerns and questions as a parent. Do not keep them to yourself. Talk to someone you trust or seek extra help. Useful questions to ask professionals can be found in this question booklet for parents. 

It may help to talk to other parents in the same situation. Dutch parents of children with DLD can be contacted through parent association FOSS or a Facebook group. FOSS organises monthly contact meetings for parents. The Dutch parent association Balans supports parents of children with developmental or learning difficulties. 

Information in English

English language resources on DLD are available from websites such as RADLD (UK), DLDandMe (US) and TheDLDProject (Australia). The UK-based charity Afasic provides a parent helpline. Harry’s Story is a picture book to create awareness of DLD.